Incompletness In Absence
by anotherweasley
Summary: What if Scully had been assigned a partner other than Doggett during Mulder's absence?


Incompleteness In Absence  
By: Olivia  
  
"Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists...When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence."-Edmond Louis Antonie Huot De Goncourt  
  
  
FBI Building  
Washington, D.C.  
  
Scully rode the elevator up to Skinner's office. She was not looking forward to the meeting. She absently placed a hand on her stomach. It had been three months since Mulder had gone missing in Oregon and all she had to show for it was that she had gotten bigger. Of course, she had realized that she couldn't hide her pregnancy from everyone forever.  
  
It was then that she noticed a few others in the elevator were glancing at her. There were trying not to, but Scully could feel their glances. No one had said anything to her directly, but she knew that the rumors were running rampant. Perhaps things would have been better if she and Mulder had been well liked by their superiors and colleagues, but they weren't. The only comment that she overheard that hurt her was the one that said Mulder had gotten her pregnant and was in hiding to avoid her and the censure.  
  
The door opened and Scully walked into Skinner's office. He smiled slightly at her as she entered.  
  
"Hello, Agent Scully. How are you doing today?" Skinner inquired.  
  
"Fine, thank you, Sir," said Scully. She was about to move to sit down across from Skinner's desk when she noticed the woman already sitting there. Scully's throat constricted.  
  
Skinner cleared his throat. "I'm assuming you know why I've called this meeting. This is Cassandra Kendall. She is being temporarily assigned to the X-Files. Agent Kendall this is Agent Dana Scully."  
  
Kendall held out her hand to Dana. When Scully didn't take it, she dropped it.   
  
Scully turned to Skinner.   
  
"With all due respect to Agent Kendall, I already have a partner on the X-Files."  
  
Skinner gave a barely audible sigh. He knew this wasn't going to be easy.   
  
"Agent Kendall, would you mind stepping outside for a moment while I have a talk with Agent Scully?"  
  
Kendall nodded her assent and quickly left the two alone.  
  
Scully angrily turned her whole body to face Skinner.   
  
"Sir, when I was abducted and missing Agent Mulder worked without a partner until I returned. I request that I be allowed to do the same."  
  
Skinner shook his head sadly.  
  
"I put this off as long as possible. You knew eventually if Mulder wasn't found they would assign a new partner to you. His case has been left open, but they are officially making it inactive. Of course, no one but us believe that aliens abducted him and even if they did there is no way for them to get him back. I am truly sorry, Dana. Until someway presents itself to help Mulder, I can't think of anything we can do to bring him back."  
  
Skinner paused before continuing, choosing his words carefully.  
  
"At some point in time during the next couple of months, your pregnancy will prevent you from going on field assignments. You will need someone to help you investigate until Mulder returns. I know how important the X-Files are to you and Mulder and I don't want them trying to shut them down by thinking that it is dispensable. I checked out Agent Kendall and specifically requested her for you. What her feelings are about this assignment, I can't venture to guess. She's a good Agent of record though and I think you'll be able to trust her."  
  
Scully angered dissipated and was replaced by sadness. A feeling that was becoming all too familiar.  
  
"Thank you, Sir, for all you've done. Let's just hope this one doesn't shoot me like my last temporary partner did."  
  
Skinner gave a slight smile and nod. He then proceeded to change the subject. A look of concern clouded his features.  
  
"And how is everything else going? The pregnancy is it...?"  
  
"It's fine, Sir. Thank you for asking."  
  
**********************************  
  
Scully let out a small sigh as she started her car to head home. Her thoughts were already on tomorrow when she would begin working with her new partner.  
  
Her work on the X-Files for the past seven years had been exciting, but it was rendered meaningless without Mulder. She needed his belief to bounce her skepticism off of. Instead she was left alone to be both the believer and the skeptic.   
  
When Mulder had first disappeared her all consuming thought was to find him. Nothing else had mattered. But as the days turned into weeks, then into months, it was harder to keep up hope and easier to slip into depression.  
  
She drove out of the FBI parking garage. Instead of driving home, she drove to her mother's house. She drove this route a few times a week. She sought solace at her mother's home. It was a temporary way to ease the empty void that Mulder's absence had left. Her apartment only reminded herself how empty her life was without Mulder. And Mulder's apartment only reminded her of all that she had lost.  
  
Is this how Mulder had thought when it was she who had been abducted? Had he felt incomplete in her absence? Had he felt the pain, fear, and frustration that comes with wanting to do something to correct a situation and then realizing that one is powerless to do anything? The two things she had left were patience and hope and she was quickly running out of both.  
  
She felt the baby growing inside of her and knew that Mulder had left the best part of him with her. Her search for Mulder was tempered by their child's needs. She would protect their child. It was all she had left of him.  
  
And she thought with despair that their child might never know how wonderful his or her father was.  
  
Her Mother had been all Scully knew she would be. Surprised, yet joyful of the coming birth, yet saddened and distressed by Mulder's disappearance. Did she believe that Mulder had been abducted by aliens? She didn't think so, but she never questioned Scully's belief in it.  
  
Bill Jr had been angry, which was not in the least surprising. He would probably have taken Mulder outside for a little "one-on-one" for "dishonoring" his sister. Not the least reason being that he just hated him. He secretly believed that Mulder had "run out on her" and that Scully was pining away for a man that was beneath her.  
  
Charles had been perplexed, but happy in that his sister was happy. Never having met Mulder, he had no real opinion of his own. He heard two different sides from his Mother and Bill. He figured the truth lied somewhere in between.  
  
Scully pulled into her Mother's driveway. When she walked though the door, she could smell the delicious aroma of a home cooked meal.  
  
"Something smells good in here," Scully said with a smile.   
  
Her Mom came out with a smile on her face and gave Scully a hug. "There's my girl. Come on in and sit down. I just put the food on the table."  
  
*****************************  
  
After saving grace, they started eating. Mrs. Scully gave her daughter some worried glances. As much as she knew her daughter could take care of herself, she worried about the pain she knew her daughter was carrying inside. She didn't like to pester her with painful questions, but worry got the best of her.  
  
"So, Dana, what have the doctors said about the baby?"  
  
"The baby's doing great. The doctors suggested I should eat a little more than I have been."  
  
Mrs. Scully then hit her next concern.  
  
"And how is work going?"  
  
"They assigned a new partner to me. She starts tomorrow."  
  
Scully suddenly found the food on her plate the most interesting she had ever seen. She didn't like where this line of questioning was going.  
  
"What's she like?"  
  
"I don't know. Tomorrow's her first day."  
  
"Dana, maybe you should..."  
  
But Scully cut her off. Tears threatened her vision.  
  
"Maybe what, Mom? Forget that Mulder ever existed and move on with my life? He is still alive, Mom. He will come back."  
  
Mrs. Scully slowly shook her head. Compassion filled her voice.  
  
"Honey, I know you love him very much, just as much as I loved your Father. But you have to let him go, just like I did. You have to move on and live your life. You have your baby to think about now. And if you don't keep healthy and stop chasing after Mulder's ghost...."  
  
She left the rest of it unsaid. When Scully didn't say anything, Mrs. Scully filled the void.  
  
"Dana, you told me how Mulder talked to you about there having to be an end. He told you that the personal costs were too high. I love you and I love my grandchild. I loved Mulder like he was my own son and I know he would do anything to protect you. He wouldn't want you chasing after him for the rest of your life. He loved you and he would have loved your baby. If what you say is true about his abduction then there is no humanely possible way to reach him. You are only going to hurt yourself and your child."  
  
Mrs. Scully reached out to rub her daughters arm. Tears spilled down Scully's cheeks. She hated crying in front of others, but she was helpless to stop them. Her Mother's words hurt, deeply.  
  
Mrs. Scully 's voice started to break.  
  
"Dana, I know you blame yourself. You blame yourself for not finding the connection that it was Mulder that was in danger and not you sooner. You blame yourself for staying here instead of going to Oregon to protect him. You blame yourself for not making him stay. You think you failed him as his partner."  
  
Scully wrapped her arms around her Mother as she silently cried. Her Mother returned the embrace.  
  
"There was nothing you could do. He would have gone with or without you. He would have been abducted whether or not you were there. Even your boss couldn't save him. Mulder wanted more for you out of this life because he loved you so very, very much. Now you've been given the chance."  
  
All Scully could sob out was, "How will my child ever know how wonderful Mulder is?"  
  
***********************************  
  
The next morning found Scully doing some paperwork at her desk when there was a knock at the door. She had to fight down the urge to yell out "There's nobody here but the FBI's most unwanted." She found this strangely amusing while at the same time it made her want to cry.  
  
"Come in," she said.  
  
Agent Kendall stepped into the office and gave Scully a smile. Scully finally took the time to really look at this woman who was supposed to replace Mulder. As if that was even remotely possible. Kendall's brown, slightly curly hair was swept up behind her head. Scully noted her navy blue pantsuit. "Get use to those pantsuits," she thought with an inner smile that was slightly malicious.   
  
Kendall was young, but not overly so. No where near as young and "fresh out of the Academy" as Scully had been years ago when she was first partnered with Mulder. Back then she had mainly been an instructor in forensic pathology and had very little experience in the field.  
  
Scully hadn't had much little time to study Kendall's background. What Skinner had said seemed to be true. She was an Agent of good record. There was nothing that particularly had struck her about this Agent.  
  
"Agent Kendall, please have a seat," Scully said, indicating the chair in front of the desk. Scully had yet to remove Mulder's door and desk nameplate. Somehow, that seemed to Scully to admit defeat, as if she really believed that he wasn't coming back.  
  
As Agent Kendall sat down she looked around the office, at Scully, cleared her voice, and finally spoke.  
  
"Agent Scully, I just wanted to say that I'm really pleased to meet you. I just recently transferred here from our San Francisco office. When I met you, I wasn't aware that you had lost your partner. I just figured that they were assigning me to your division because there was a space that needed to be filled. Jobs at Headquarters are very hard to come by. I wasn't even really sure what the X-Files was. I can't even begin to imagine how you feel. It was hard enough to say good-bye to my partner of four years in Cisco."  
  
Scully just looked at Kendall. She seemed genuine enough and actually pleasant. But Scully had her doubts. After so many years of questioning everything and everyone, she wasn't about to take this woman at face value. For some reason, Kendall looked vaguely familiar to her, but Scully couldn't place it. Perhaps it was just her paranoia talking. With Mulder around, she was good at keeping it in check. When he wasn't....  
  
"So what made you decide to leave San Francisco?"  
  
Kendall smiled at some unknown memory.  
  
"I grew up on the East Coast. New England actually. When I was young, my family moved to California. When I was older, my family decided to move to the D.C. Metro Area. I decided I was tired of the West Coast and wanted to move closer to them. I wish it was something more exciting than that."  
  
"You don't have a husband or any children?"  
  
"No. Nothing like that," said Kendall with a chuckle. "I'm just footloose and fancy free for right now."  
  
Scully needed to prod this woman. See what made her tick.  
  
Before she could think she blurted out, "Do you believe in the existence of extraterrestials?"  
  
Kendall stared at her for a moment. Then she shrugged her shoulders.  
  
"I don't know. They may exist and then again they may not. I haven't seen any convincing proof either way. I like to keep an open mind though. Besides, I thought the Assistant Director said that X-Files were more about unexplained phenomena than actual aliens, although I'm very sure they fall under that category."  
  
Scully couldn't believe this woman. Was she for real?  
  
"Aren't you upset that you were assigned to this division when there are other more glamorous positions with better promotion potential?"  
  
"Dana, may I call you Dana?"  
  
"Please address me as Scully."  
  
"Scully, then. Look your work seems interesting. Investigations into the paranormal right? It must be interesting for you if you've spent seven years in this division. I'll admit that it seems far off from mainstream Bureau life, but the work must be interesting, you know. A new case every time. I'm sure it's much more varied than battling terrorists, kidnappers, and tax evaders. Granted they are all necessary parts of Bureau life, but I guess I'm just looking for a change of pace. Perhaps that's what prompted me to move here after all."  
  
Scully hated her. She hated herself more for beginning to like this woman. She would in no way ever replace Mulder, but she seemed like a good person and she had an open mind. This was more than she could say for herself seven years ago. She still had doubts. She felt Mulder next to her whispering "trust no one," but she desperately needed someone to trust again. At the very least, she had to give into inevitability. Eventually, someone would be her "new" partner if she stayed with the Bureau.  
  
"Listen, Kendall...do you mind if I address you as Kendall?"  
  
"Whatever you prefer."  
  
"Kendall, I have to go turn in these reports to AD Skinner. Why don't you have a look around and familiarize your with office? There's a desk over there where you can store your stuff. Here are some case files on my desk which you can look over to get more familiar with the kind of cases that come our way."  
  
Kendall nodded her assent and Scully left to go to Skinner's office.  
  
As soon as she left the room, Kendall let a small, sad smile pass over her face. Years of studying Scully and she finally got to meet the living, breathing woman. She was exactly as she imagined she would be. On the outside, the professional Agent, and on the inside, pining away for her lost partner.  
  
Kendall gave the office another once over. She reached out and ran her fingers over the "Fox Mulder" nameplate. She went up to look over the walls covered with newspaper articles. They were cases that Mulder and Scully had handled together. There were a few random snapshots of the two working cases.   
  
Finally, she came across the famous "I Want To Believe" poster of the flying saucer. She was sure Mulder didn't have to wish to believe anymore.  
  
Scully could be back any second, so Kendall hurried to the file cabinets. She searched them over until she came to the one marked "Fox Mulder." She quickly glanced at the report, trying to devour as much information as possible. She quickly scanned the crime scene, if you could call it that, photos. Scully obviously knew as little as she did. The report was a through as could be under the circumstances.  
  
Kendall made sure to put the report back where it came from. She couldn't lose Scully's fledgling trust, just as she was starting out. There was one other file she wanted to check out. The file that started Mulder' s journey down this long, strange road. It was right behind Mulder's file. "Samantha Mulder" was written on the outside.   
  
She again poured over the report and pictures quickly and efficiently until she came to the part where it presumed Samantha was dead. At that point she snapped it shut and put it away.   
  
She quickly moved to her "new" desk and began taking out some things from her attached case and arranging them on the desk. She'd have to look busy when Scully returned.  
  
For too long, she had hidden in shadows, helping without putting herself in jeopardy. Now she was bolder. Hopefully, it was not too late to help Mulder, thus helping Scully and her unborn child. It was no time to fear the possible end of one's existence. So many people had died on this quest for the "holy grail." At least she'd be in good company.  
  
Kendall thought about Mulder's lifelong quest to find his sister. Her eyes threatened to fill with tears. Was there ever known such devotion as this? Kendall fervently prayed that she was not too late and that someday soon she could tell her brother the truth and fill the void that left her and Scully incomplete. 


End file.
